The Three Groups That Shape Every Journey
When you're starting anything - product building, content creation, IT, stand-up comedy, or any pursuit that matters - you find yourself surrounded by three distinct groups of people.
And I’m not talking about the "haters" vs the "supporters." I’m not talking about family vs strangers. I’m talking about something more fundamental: the ones before, the now, and the after.
Understanding these groups changes how you navigate your journey. It helps you extract value from each relationship while avoiding the psychological traps that derail so many talented people.
Group 1: The Ones Who Were There Before
This group has already reached the level of success you're aiming for. Their achievements feel untouchable - the 100K subscribers, the $150K salary, the effortless conference talks, the polished products that seem to build themselves.
If you only look at them, it’s easy to think: they are talented, they are chosen, they have something you don’t. You forget that behind the surface there were years of quiet grind, failed attempts, false starts.
Think of them like fourth-year students when you’ve just entered university. They know the shortcuts, the professors, the hidden tricks. To you, they look untouchable. But they were once in your shoes.
What to do with this group: follow them strategically. Study their patterns. If possible, get them to mentor you - though accept that most won’t have time. But don’t spend too much mental energy here. When they were starting, the landscape was different. Their path won’t be your path.
Take their principles, not their playbook.
Group 2: The Ones Who Start With You
These are your people. Your cohort. The ones who remind you that you’re not alone in feeling lost, overwhelmed, or like you’re making it up as you go.
This group is where you calibrate your progress. What is impostor syndrome, really, except a lack of peer examples to compare yourself against? When you see others at your level struggling with the same problems, making similar mistakes, celebrating similar small wins - it normalizes the journey.
These relationships are complex. They’re your “frenemies” in the truest sense. Some will be open to collaboration. Others will choose competition over cooperation. Some days you’ll support each other; other days you’ll be comparing metrics and feeling inadequate.
What to do with this group: engage actively but selectively. Find the ones who choose collaboration over pure competition. Build genuine relationships. Share knowledge freely - the rising tide really does lift all boats. But also maintain healthy boundaries. Not every peer relationship needs to be a deep friendship.
Most importantly, resist the urge to constantly compare. Use peer progress as motivation, not validation.
Group 3: The Ones Who Come After You
This is the "next" generation. The people who will eventually look up to you, whether you realize it or not. They’re starting where you were six months, a year, or two years ago.
They might ask you “how did you do it?” while you still feel like you’re figuring things out yourself. But in their eyes, you already are the fourth-year student.
Here’s what’s beautiful about this group: helping them helps you. Teaching forces you to clarify your own thinking. Mentoring reveals gaps in your knowledge. Answering their questions often sparks new ideas for your own work.
There’s also deep satisfaction in being the person you wish you’d had when you were starting. The senior developer who actually explains the “why” behind code review comments. The creator who shares real numbers instead of vague “crushing it” updates. The founder who admits which strategies failed and why.
What to do with this group: teach generously. Answer questions in forums. Write the tutorials you wish had existed. Be transparent about your struggles - not just your successes. Remember that someone helped you get where you are, even if it was just through content they created or example they set.
The Trap to Avoid
The biggest mistake I see people make is getting stuck in comparison mode with Group 1 or competition mode with Group 2. Both are energy sinks that distract from the real work.
The person with 100K subscribers didn’t get there by obsessing over someone with a million. They got there by consistently creating value for their audience. The successful founder didn’t build their company by constantly checking what their startup batch-mates were doing. They built it by solving real problems for real customers.
Conclusion
As usual, I just enjoy grouping, slicing, and dicing ideas and concepts. But if that’s not enough, here’s the point:
When starting something, don’t only look "up." Looking across and looking "back" are just as important.
The ones before you show what’s possible.
The ones with you show you you’re not alone.
The ones after you remind you how far you’ve come.
The groups can inspire you, teach you, challenge you, and give you perspective. But they can’t do the work for you. They can’t walk your path.
So focus on your journey. Find satisfaction in the process, not just the outcomes. Enjoy the learning. Enjoy the building. Enjoy the gradual transformation from someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing, to someone who does - and then to someone who realizes that nobody ever completely knows what they’re doing, and that’s perfectly fine.
The journey is the reward. The groups are just good company along the way.
Great advice, Nune. Wise words.