AI Isn't a Tool. It's Social Media.
And both are gaslighting us
I keep having the feeling that AI chats (I don’t mean customer support chatbots, I mean either ChatGPT or Claude or any LLM for that matter with which you interact over chat) are comparable to social media, more than any actual “TOOL” like idk…bash, or IDE.
It’s not a tool. It’s social media. You spend hours and hours talking to it, getting sucked into this endless conversation turns.
Like a slot machine you keep spinning the wheel of LLM weights, hoping to get the right answer... Just a little better prompt, just a little more context, just a little better explanation of the background...
Furthermore, I was scrolling through reels the other day (ironic, I know) and I was presented with one of those “identify the signs of gaslighting” posts (I’m fine, thanks) and every single point was applicable to BOTH social media and AI. Look, here are the “how you understand you are in a gaslighting situation”
You doubt your feelings and reality: You try to convince yourself the treatment you receive isn’t that bad or that you’re overly sensitive.
Social Media: when you first try it, you can immediately feel how you waste hours of your life there. But it tells you - it’s your fault, you are not engaging correctly, you didn’t find the right people to follow, you are the problem. Just import 1324 contacts and everything will be better
AI: what you feel - “hmm, I’m not getting the best result out of this”. What they tell you - you didn’t use the right prompt, you didn’t give it enough context, you didn’t use it long enough to understand how to use it - the problem is YOU.
You feel vulnerable and insecure / walking on eggshells
Social Media: You post something and brace for impact. You’re anxiously waiting for those likes to come. Did I post something wrong? At the wrong time? With the wrong picture? Wrong HashTags? Do people this days even USE HASHTAGS anymore??!
God forbid you allow comments from non-contacts in LinkedIn - this means you’ll get so much shit in your comments - independently of even what you said.
AI: You dare to say you don’t believe LLM is producing better code? You dare to question whether it should be used in certain situations? The social cost of doubt is too high.
You feel alone and powerless... everyone thinks you’re strange
Social Media: In 2021 I was on vacation and a girl I befriended told me about this nice dancing classes in the city I live in. So I asked her to send me the address. To my email. You should have seen her look. EMAIL?! So you don’t have an IG account?! Now I have one, thanks for making me part of your cult.
AI: Do I need to explain this? If you’re not running together with everyone else the rat-race of who-will-spend-more-tokens you’re just a dinosaur who’s soon to be extinct.
Everyone on LinkedIn is 10x-ing their productivity, building startups in a weekend, shipping apps before breakfast. You’re this looser who didn’t even figure out how to write a proper prompt.
The person behaves inconsistently, like they’re two different people
Social Media: The idea is to connect with your friends and keep in touch with them, share interests and ideas. The reality is also a platform optimizing for outrage, comparison, and time-on-app.
AI: The idea is to automate boring tasks and make you 10X productive. The reality is...wait...a platform optimizing for outrage, comparison, and time-on-app…
“I was just joking / you need thicker skin”
Social Media: When people raise concerns about mental health impacts, the response is “just log off” or “it’s just an app” or “tools, not problems.” The harm is minimized and turned back on the user.
AI: if you say the demos don’t match reality, and get told you’re alarmist, you don’t understand exponentials, you’re focused on “current limitations,” the next version will fix it. Concerns are always premature or already outdated, never on time.
“You spend a lot of time apologizing / feel inadequate / never good enough”
Social Media: The entire comparison engine. You’re never thin enough, successful enough, well-traveled enough, productive enough. And the fix is always: more engagement, more posting, more consumption.
AI: Apologizing for not having integrated it yet. For being skeptical. For asking basic questions. For having used it “wrong.”
“You distrust yourself / struggle to make decisions”
Social Media: Outsourcing taste, opinions, even memories of your own experiences (”pics or it didn’t happen”) to the platform’s validation.
AI: Let me just ask AI every single decision I need to make.
SO?
What’s the point? I don’t know. The point is - let’s be at least aware of what we are doing I guess. Let’s be present and aware. Mindful. Intentional. Do something outrageous like reading a book, or having an actual conversation.
Oh wait, let’s see how the same “gaslighting” applies to our situation.
Here’s what google says about getting out of gaslighting:
Document Reality
Gaslighters thrive on making you doubt your own memory. Create a reality anchor to counter the manipulation
Social Media: Define your own criteria of success of your life. Do you like your nose? Then don’t think about changing it. Do you like wearing what you are wearing - then who cares? You wanna take that vacation - do it. You’re too stressed to plan - then DON’T.
AI: Ignore the benchmarks, ignore the promises - have your own measurement of usefulness. As I said once - take the joy test, before applying AI
Disengage and Walk Away
Do not argue or try to convince the gaslighter that you are right. State a brief boundary (e.g., “I won’t continue this conversation”) and immediately leave or stop communicating.
I think this is the same “stop using it” advice. Stop trying to change the reality. Stop being frustrated with things you don’t control. Control what you can. Leave the rest to the rest.
Build a Support Network
Gaslighters try to isolate you from others. Share your experiences with trusted friends, family members, or an objective third party to get a reality check on the situation.
There are people like you. You’re not alone. Not everyone is in the Hype. And once you step aside, you’ll start noticing that.
Take care of yourself, and now, go, I have reels to catch up with :D